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Posted 07 February 2012 at 21:09 | Last updated 07 February 2012 at 21:24
Will Sam be grieving?
Asked by Amy T | 10 Answers
Answers
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Janet E
Owns:
- 2 Cats
Hi, we have a lovely cat living close to us, who used to regularly visit us, with his pal, another cat who lived up the road. They were great friends, always together. One day, Ginger just disappeared. No-one knew where he was; he was an elderly cat, so we all feared the worst. Since then, a month ago, poor Pepper has grieved for him, and daily searches everywhere for his best friend. He is vocal anyway, but even more so now. He goes from room to room in our house, in case Ginger is there. He searches high and low, calling for him. It is very sad, he is obviously pining for him...poor Pepper! All we can do is give him extra cuddles. He used to stay in our house, with Ginger, and play with our cats' toys, but now its only for a short while. I hope he gets over the pain he is feeling soon.
Lynne C
We had 2 brothers from the same litter, at 6 weeks old. When they were 4 years old, one became ill and, after repeated visits to the vet over a period of 8 days, sadly he passed away in the night, before he was due for a full x-ray. It was a very traumatic week for all of us. The vet had no answers, but asked our permission to do a post-mortem, which we agreed to (although we asked not to be told the result, as it wouldn't help US, although I hoped it might help the vet in the future).
His brother became a bit withdrawn ... he still ate, purred & continued with his routine, but was generally quieter, & we'd see him wandering around looking 'lost'. One morning, he was sitting in the kitchen, 'howling'. I calmed him down ... & from then on, he was back to his 'old self'. It was as though he'd finally realised his brother wasn't coming home, & had accepted it.
I still wonder if it might have been better to have let him seen his brother after he'd passed away ... might this have saved him a month of 'uncertainty'?
Amy T
Owns:
- 2 Cats
Thats the main thing that concerned me about Clio going to the vets and not returning. Sam seemed quiet for a few days and had that one long vocal spell but seems back to his usual self now. He has been more cuddly than usual. Clio's a huge miss but thankfully it seems Aonghus is taking Sam's mind off it all
Vet answer
Hi Amy
I'm really sorry for your loss, and hope that Sam is coping OK. I do think cats can miss each other, but other than lots of extra attention and cuddles I don't think there's much more you can do. Karen our behaviourist may have some other suggestions for you though.
Give him a big cuddle from me,
Lucy
thank you, will do
Cats do miss each other. And they do grieve. I have seen it multiple times. Most recently with my current 4. Meg and Spikes mum who also kind of fostered the two singapuras, died just over a week ago of saddle thrombosis. the other four are very much cuddling each other and me. For two days they did not leave my side. In fact they practically sat on me. At the moment they want to be with me the moment I come in the door and Neo has left puncture marks all over me doing the 'kneading with claws' thing kittens do when feeding. They are better this week than they were last week and I know from experience that they do get over it. But like humans they seem all to take differing times to do so. Currently I think meg is missing her mum most as she is crying as if she was on call every night. The way Tammy died though has given me some other causes for concern but thats another story
Expert answer
Hi Amy, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. it might be that Sam was aware all was not well if she was ill for some time. He will also be aware if you and the family are upset. Some cats deal well with bereavement and may not even notice. Some may actually appear to enjoy the increased space and attention. You might notice that Sam does not eat as much and may look a bit lost, and may vocalise more than usual. However, studies have shown that this, if it happens, does not last for more than around 6 months. If Sam does not eat at all for more than a few days, contact your Vet for advice and try to entice eating with tastier food for a time.
If you can keep all other routines the same where possible and generally keep Sam's quality of life to be as good as possible, perhaps even giving favourite dinners and Extra stroking if this is what Sam enjoys.
Sam may not enjoy a new companion so do not feel under pressure to get another cat. Time will tell how he will cope but as I said, trying you can to keep everything as normal as possible.
Best wishes and once again, sorry to hear about Clio
Karen
Thank you for your help Karen, He has been eating a little less than usual. He was very vocal the other day and we thought that was strange. He seems to be ok otherwise, our other cat is tormenting the life out of him so that might be distracting him :)
I agree, cats do certainly feel grief, as we do, depending on how close they were to the one who has gone.
My two cats grew up together for 18 years tho they were not related, one of them kept having fits and got put on prednisolone until eventually the little house they shared shook so badly and she lost control of her bowel and bladder whilst fitting we had to let her go to the angels as it was cruel, but the one left behind i worried about because 18 years is a long time in cat years, i need not have worried tho she just spent one or two days wandering round the garden, she still ate and wanted lots of fuss as per normal i was amazed, i thought she would die broken hearted but she lived to be 22 so i wouldn't worry too much, your cat will probably sense more from you then it is feeling itself.